OHHHH This is Me...

Bright-eyed, kinesthic, light-brite with a world of poetry renting space in her mind. Her view of this earth is from a stand point that even Socrates couldn't understand. Born on the 14th day of the 3rd month of each New Year. She sparkles as she smiles with her eyes. When you gaze @ her words you drift off into her every day. Her poetic style far from a trend. P.Olay is timeless and here to stay. Get lost in her words if you will...

10/03/08

I bed lay daydreaming in my still room
Wondering what will this new day bring
Falling leaves and brisky winds move about in my mini-outdoorsy world
My best bored with work wishing she was home as well
I feel a new beginning coming on
A new day inside of the daily me
Happy that my journey is coming to a end
Surgery a cold wednesday morning away
Still laughing inside from a great all girlie day two moon filled nights ago
Welcoming another young lady into our circle of joy
Happy I testify
Happy I declare
Eventhough,
My Mr. Buenos Diaz wont get himself in order
He doesn't understand my craft
And that honestly bothers me
Even if you don't understand poetry fully
Reading delivers to all
What do you grab from someone's words?
I guess he doesn't get the meaning of talent
Well I'll leave that to my nightly prayers
Big Sis still stuck in the stubborn zone
And I'm not going to bail her out
Grandpa on silence mode 4weeks and counting
Alot going on with me
Yet, I declare happy
No need to walk around half-hearted
My God gives me his all
I pray you drink a full gallon of joy as well
Its TGIF bitches

?

How do you want me to be?
What do you want me to be?
I show that I'm human and U don't accept me
Emotional wreck
Emotionless blank
How can you not like me better when I'm playing Frank?
Sexual freak
Virgin Mary flake
How would you tell if I was real or fake?
I give you closeness
I provide meaning to your soul
A healthy relationship is my only goal
Eventhough we started as soon as we met
Should it have ended, when you decided to jet?
I hear its your life
I understand all of that
I even honor you for being this intact
Most men would crumble
Fall off the earth
But you've played Mom and Dad since your little one's birth
And as erie as it was to find out you had two little girls
With both my names and a head full of curls
I could have bailed then
But I never judged
I just accepted your world with a big hug
You shut ↓ and shut me out
and tell me you're fine
Which I know is a load of crap
Please don't think this is a relationship trap
I'm asking you early on
Because now is better than, then
Are you planning on keeping me around as your l♥ver or your friend?
Wasted time is something I don't give
The future is where I'm headed
So either l♥ve me hard
Or let me live

Pisces

Pisces
Put your priorities on you. Taking care of your health is more important than ever.

Pisces

Pisces
Even though you love them all dearly, your friends are not in synch with you, today.

9/22/08

I can not honestly say I'm a democrate nor a republican
I vote for world peace
A calm state amongst all lands
But what does stick out @ me is the voice of Obama
I haven't been wrapped up in the political word but I desire a good speaker
My pastor tickles my fancy when he delivers his sermons on Sunday
So I would vote him if he was on the ticket
I ask you all, what sticks out @ you?
Because what does this country really need?
A new color, age, gender or creed
When Novemeber rings in and the choice is made
Will your night's sleeping time be better?
Will you smile more bigger?
Will your needs, wants and desires be met?
Will the change you were praying for unfold before your eyes?
Will this really whole-heartedly impact you?
My focus is to live the best life I've been offered
And does a male/female or democrate/republican in office really affect that?
If so, how?

Tell me, why you stand firm on your decision?

9/19/08

Crawled up, heating pad against my belly
Listening to sirens stream thru the streets of my Harlem
I stare @ the bars on my livingroom window
Feeling trapped from yet another wasted day
8-10hour shifts I'm use to executing on my daily
But is $'s worth enduring the pain?
I can crown Self a pill-popper
And no not in a ecstasy sense
Eventhough the more codeine I devour
The more I feel like I'm being lifted into space
Unconscious Self, hand me the trashcan so I can puke up this conditon
Wash it away and exit this place
Everyday its a 50/50 chance I'll be regular
As dramatic (some may say)
Energetic
Wild and crazy as I am
I've moved into such a humble place
Just last Wednesday, you could see the alcohol in my face
Now back here chaise laying in such a boredom state
But my faith is still in place
I have faith in him
I read Peter I versus 4: 12,13,19
The l♥ve of Tonia to thank
I kept reading and landed @ Peter 1 verse 5 3:10 and Joy took over my case
The chapter ending in...
"And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you."
No more teary eyes
A smile has replaced
The over-Joy I feel because I know blessings will soon chase
Track me down and provide a bed of his Grace
I would l♥ve to know, how deep is your faith?

The Sun is shinning in my soul so I'm prepared for the heavy rains...

Girlies thank you for your feedback. It really helps me get thru the day.

Prayer changes things

9/18/08

Sweet, fruitful wishes
Enormous hopes and dreams
Simple prayers topped with BIG request
God has heard my cries
So who do I turn to next?
SELF...
The news of everyone's problems is so minuscule to what's really going on
Have you tuned into the constant unfolding of this economy and the recent natural disasters of our earth?
There is soooo... much more, BIGGER than you/me
My Mom contemplating moving back home to assist in problem-solving
For already quailfied problem-solvers
Yes having her embilical cord connection, having the same blood running thru your/my veins
Would solve my/ur right now struggles
Yes the thought happies me
But We/I can stand-a-lone
There are only two feet to shoe
Yes I'm suffering from this and I wish I had someone right here
But damned if I will allow myself to melt away yet another day
I've turned to:
SELF...
God is inside of me swimming thru my soul
So what more help do I need!
I only want to speak the positive
Speak life
Speak sweet
Speak right
Negative energy forms a blockage for your blessings
Clear the devil out of your house
No need to hide under the sofa of no answers, no possibilties, no opportunities
In the words of Alicia: "remove that word "CAN'T" from your vocabulary"
Sore back, I can still withstand this right now pain
I was told today, no one has every heard me speak so positively
Well here it is
I open my mouth to you
Receive my words
None of us are still little girls

A little personal but apply where needed...

L♥ve you guys... There are stars in the sky for a reason...

Pisces

Pisces
Communicate in an out-of-the-ordinary manner -- write a poem to say how you feel.

9/17/08

Today I report to you from my teary eyed chaise(thanks Big Sis and Felicia one of the most comfortable pieces of furniture art that I've rested my rear upon)
The strength of l♥ve couldn't pull me together to exit this place
Hot waters running in my bathtub to @ least relieve some of the pain
I describe my pain as a tummy full of dirty laundry
Washing and rinsing away in my abdominal area
Two tylenol 3's and a Celebrex being the fabric softener of meds to help complete this load
Awaiting the spin cycle so that the pain can stop
Why me, I ask?
Must I discover the highs and lows of this illness
My bestest Chel having the most knowledge of Endometriosis
Doc after Doc looking into my private areas
Still no severity of my condition
I want this to be over
My ♥ filled with joy is not healing nor helping this day
Girlies I cry out to you
If you guys could just share some of the pain
I dont quite understand why I must go thru this
What have I done to have this condition casted upon me?
God knows whatever sins I've commited the blood of Jesus is my gift to receive forgiveness
Tears and Headaches go hand and hand
Well..., welcome to the world of mygraines I've told self
I'm praying today will end in a smile filled face with light makeup and a little orange blush
Stepping out into the Big City life
To table chat @ Taj
Unsure @ this point as I harbor the pain
I l♥ve you all and I pray you never have to go thru this
Writing and sharing my words is keeping me a float right now
So please, keep reading and sending your replies

Pain abandon me, you don't have to live here anymore...

9/16/08

I'm bright eyed today
Enjoying and basking in the breeze of fall
Still doesn't feel like the cold will stick But I will definitely take a pair of jeans and a sleeved shirt this day
I have a date 2night
I was invited to a movie with the bestest
My Ace herself Miss Clark
I've been feeling joy all week
Time to spread the new l♥ve into the seats of the 125th street theater
Overzealous I maybe but really who cares
When joy is the root of my-self findings
Headed to Washington Heights for the 1st time in my life(to my knowledge)
To hear the news of my surgery date
This illness has not even remotely received the best of me
I'm dealing with it like a regular winter cold
Once the docs send a tube inside of me they will see God has cured me before they could
God's love inside is a silent and fast healer
I heard pain is a night stalker
It explains the pains I feel when I arise
But a few yarns and tosses get me back to my normalcy state
I pray you all are feasting on yet another beautiful day
I feel your smiles inside my ♥ as I type away
I'm thankful for you all
No matter what we have been through or will go through you'll still be one of the girls that ignited my life
Thank you girlie

Boyfriend without power since Sunday,
in Columbus Ohio. I've been praying for him and his family. Join me in prayer...