9/15/08

So the journey to "New Beginnings" have begun (in Erica Cane's voice)
Shout out to Sgt. Green Eye's(All My Children)
The quote: "We must do what we have to do, so that we can do what want to do" (The Great Debaters)
Has been placed in a cloud over head
I poke @ it as the word "PASSION" zips by me everytime I grab my berry to attack my right now thoughts
I want to be inspirational to all
Rae gave me a push with her connecting women campaign
What a delight to everyone's life
My Sis angry with my growning abilities
But not going to allow that to stop my new found run
I want to arrive where l♥ve meets eternity
Eventhough I'm not the "Greatest Lady Of All Time" in everyone eyes
@ least I am in God's
My purpose is to 1st save me so I can save other's
I pray my words that I'm (going to start from now on) delivering to my girlies touch you like they are given from me
Jotting down what's jogging thru your brain gives a sense of stability for self
I'm joyous this day
Headed to my Lil Sissy EM to get started on yet a "New Beginning"
A career change will help put me back in the fore-front of my life
Retail makes the $'s stream thru my commerce account but the passion isn't left in hand when I exit those "BIG" glass doors
There's so much more to little size 4 (sometimes 2) me
Shoot, there's so much more to all of us
I going to out weigh a 300 pound man with my 129lbs self and the 500lbs I just gained from the new l♥ve of self
Well enjoy your day my lovely ladies
Slap fives with your passion
Hug your dreams
And keep listening, as God screams

9/14/08

Be careful what you say
Speaking negative thoughts or thinking negative thoughts brings about a foul tongue
Always speak life
Stop and evaulate the roles that we all play
Own up to the lives we were destine to live
Maybe you helped it to get to the point it has landed
Own up to your own destruction
We demonstrate a lack of our own character
Bad judgement
Bad decisons
Bad actions
Leads to the mishandling of God's word and off the path of God's purpose for your life
Dont be so quick to put other people out there
Or put other person's down
We were not put here to kill another person's dreams or spirit
Ambition is a conscious effort
Be ambitious
Live with passion
Create and make your dreams your reality
Connecting with God starts with recognition
Recognize your own short comings
There's a point in life where we must do more
Be more
We are expected to speak up
Take responsibility for the team
Carry somebody's elses weight
Someone has carried yours
If you are willing to step up
Others will be willing to step up with you
The Judah Way is the connection to Christ
You will mess up
You will fall short of your purpose
Doesn't matter what your last move was, make sure your next move is, your best move
No one's expected to be perfect
No one's expected to always be right
Try harder
Pray harder
And stay in prayer longer
Prayer requires consistency

If you feel this in your soul God has just called your name its time to let go and allow God

Church was great today my soul is singing... You may not hear it but I'm listening...

Left

Left

So I met him and I left him
Or he left me
What msg is this now Almighty?
Everything happens for a reason
For a season
Indian summer is it?
I don't enjoy the heat
I don't want the heat
Cool breezes is what I crave
All smile filled days
But a week ago I stared into his eyes
And nothing but excitement of a new surprise
Maybe its me, just always longing for plenty
Continuously feeling empty
Thinking of the building of bridges
Making l♥ve
Moon walking on ceilings
The dude being away from the sexual needs
Dont want to be naughty just yet
But if I had thoughts of risk taking
His absence puts me back on my Ohio break
Shit I must admit
I have a boyfriend
But I desired a Man

Nia...

Muse

Muse

All of two muses in my short life
Thinking about it just makes me want to write
In l♥ve with two men that didnt even see me as like
I watch them both stare @ me
Not knowing, I wasn't the one in their sight
4 hard years raining in on one
The other a merely over 8 months
When does one life end to know the other has begun
Friends they are
How could I be that dum to wish upon the same star
God did you send them to inspire me to write?
Knowing once l♥ve clouds my brain I loose all focus and might
Hurt hearting today
Begging for old pain to jump on that Great Dane and gallop away
I testify, you fixed me full but my empty belly still aches
When will I l♥ve myself enough to give my broken ♥ a break
I was warned by a messenger that my next l♥ve will be the key
I'm guessing there's magic in the power of 3

Nia...

7/29/08

7/29/08

Half smiled
Heavy hearted
The events that continue to drown my right now mood are coming @ me full force
As I drive thru life I see the stop sign approaching
I slam my foot on the breaks and look both ways
Coast seems clear
I continue to move
Baam...
I'm slammed by yet another unfortunate event
I pray, and I pray
I can get pass and get thru this one
I was told, and I believe, because I can testify that My God is a 2nd chance God
So I cry and call out to him
Jesus, My God, Lord of Lord, The Almighty Righteous...
Relieve my pain yet again and pull me thru to your light
I know what I've done as well as what I do isn't always right
But I'm learning I'm growing I'm becoming who you have destined me to be
God help me please
Mercy is what I crave
Mercy is what I need
I close my eyes
And just ponder the day
From court to work to Bill pay

Me

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

If you can't copy me, duplicate me, change me, recreate me or let alone save me and replay me why not just take me, keep me, appreciate me and accept me as I am? If I remind you of no one, than there is no comparison to cloud your brain, alter your thoughts. I was told to follow your dreams... I'll still be there everynight you close your eyes. I'm ready when you are. Not going to take the 1st step anymore. I feel it'll be better, if we walk together.

If you're in l♥ve or engaged, please ignore this page.

Share my pain

Share my pain

Crippling condition fell upon my size 8 1/2 feet
Toes still polished in that come get me now red
Matching the drips continuously exiting my internal self
Daytime nightmares running thru my dizzy little head
Red blood count as low as as any sickened anemia case
Who would have thought 127lb healthy me would have to slide her feet across paqueted floors to just get to the neighboring restroom
Gliding @ the pace of a nursing home Great- Grand-Mama
Tired from just a measly 10sec stroll
Weakness running thru my veins like Miami's nightlife, just a few short moons ago
How can one go from 0 to 60 in a mere 48hours
Cheeks slapping fives with tears as the sharp contraction like pains, play jack in the box with my abdominal area
I ask God what are Cyst and why have they bonded with me this day?
My job thinking and extended vaca was my plan
Not knowing the pain prevails even as I type with both hands
Where is the stop button as this plays out
5days already
I shouldn't have anything else to complain about
I remove the pillows searching for my strength
A bit size capsule has got me somewhat thru this
Feeling like I will never again be the same
Pouting @ the mean world, for some unknown reason feeling shame
Just hug me
It would help if you could share my pain

Nia...

Ate-teen

Ate-teen

So we've arrived @ 18years
I can recall Ate-teen beautiful moments
18 arguments
18 shots
18 laughs
18 huge smiles
18 disappointments
18 heartaches
I've even witnessed you shred Ate-teen hurtful tears
18 complaints
18 walks
18 trips
18 restaurants
18 boutiques
18 projects
Just about Ate-teen different places we both lived
How did you enter my life and become My Ace in a deck of Ate-teen different friends
18 stories
18 fights
18 movies
18 clubs
18 dresses
18 pairs of shoes
I've even watched you cook Ate-teen cornish hens
In seperate rooms we've even commited over Ate-teen of the same sins
The number 18 rings in my tiny little ears
I smile just thinking about how we will be in our Old Lady years
I can tell you this, I didn't mishandle God's glory when it came to you Kid
You call me your Bestest and I will keep that title and finish out this friendship bid
You're my Lil Sis and even if I get a little crazy over something simple you did
I will never stop protecting you because its apart of my purpose to live

Happy Bday Puttie

Auntie's words...

This was sent to me by my Auntie Toya I had to share... Truth is in the eye of the beholder...

Your Sweeheart Isn't You

It may seem absurdly obvious that your sweetheart isn't you, but one of the worst mistakes you can make in love is to generalize on the basis of yourself; that is; to presume that your partner is exactly like you in terms of hurts, habits, preferences, hopes, and expectations. Too often once we're ensconced in an intimate relationship, we tend to behave as if our mate is, or should be, an extension of ourselves.
The consequence of these assumptions is that most people are giving and doing what they would like to receive in the form they would like to receive it in, rather than doing what the person they're related to wants. As a result, a lot of fights are occurring because partners aren't getting their needs met. This kind of expecting the other person to be a clone of ourselves is an emotional hangover from infancy when, indeed we were the center of the universe.
The antidote to this stultifying situation is to learn to do one very simple thing: inquire. Explore. Ask. Let curiosity be your guide to finding out what your mate wants and needs from you. The more you know precisely who he is or she is, the less you'll make this person-erasing mistake.
In the long run, remembering that the person you love is not you is a way of exposing yourself to the joy of knowing another soul in the truth and beauty of his or her own uniqueness.

LT

Rain's Mist

Rain's Mist

My ♥ stopped beating lastnight
Empty boxed
Hollow chest
Nothing but pain echoing inside
Even the past will bite with his big mouth
Knowing me, well the old me
No excuse for actions
What do I deserve
The best, the utmost, the highest quality respect, I suppose
God I try to wear the blinders you gave me
I don't want to see all
Why must I witness everything sooner than later
Sure its best for me but I nolonger can play
Every beginning ending in days
Can I wrap a month, a year, a century around a holding pin
Tie him down to my side so I can just smile myself to sleep
I want my arms to stretch around his back one last time
Only because I drown myself with the memory of he
I scream out as I cry, memory just run away from me
This single check I place in every box on every 1040 I file
Is running dry
Why isn't he standing behind me
Whispering in my ear
Serenading my soul
I looked over self
As they say, I'm bad
Well where is my balance Mr. Good
As I caress my lost but new found berry
I stare @ the words mirror imagery(sent by he)
And I ask self who am I staring back @
Yung Marilyn or another self
God send me a holy kiss
My lips are tired of puckering up and just getting all Rain's Mist

P.Olay...

Disguised

Disguised

I escaped from the big box
Cloudy headed
Heavy heart
I peered down @ the word overwhelmed circling my feet
I say, to self, this was such a bad week
Although, the days flew by like and over night storm
Much has happen
What else can go wrong
One of my bestest in unimaginable pain
Just the thoughts reappearing can bring a sunny day, horrible rains
Like how can this all be happening @ the same time
A black man makes history for something other than a crime
So someone tell me what is a girlie do
When stress has returned parading my new
I try to clear my head and stop the evilness from brewing inside
But my eyes continue to tear awaiting yet another bad surprise
God I call out
The only true help in all of my sobbing days
Come please and take mine as well as everyone I love pain away
I know tribulation is a process for much better days
But when I arise tomorrow @ least take my stress acne away
In the heart of me my face shows all misery present inside
I've learned a beautiful face can never be disguised

Nia...

Love

Love

I can be smitten for a day by some
Lustful for a month by few
Joyous for a year by many
But with you, for some odd reason
I can be in love for a lifetime