Auntie's words...

This was sent to me by my Auntie Toya I had to share... Truth is in the eye of the beholder...

Your Sweeheart Isn't You

It may seem absurdly obvious that your sweetheart isn't you, but one of the worst mistakes you can make in love is to generalize on the basis of yourself; that is; to presume that your partner is exactly like you in terms of hurts, habits, preferences, hopes, and expectations. Too often once we're ensconced in an intimate relationship, we tend to behave as if our mate is, or should be, an extension of ourselves.
The consequence of these assumptions is that most people are giving and doing what they would like to receive in the form they would like to receive it in, rather than doing what the person they're related to wants. As a result, a lot of fights are occurring because partners aren't getting their needs met. This kind of expecting the other person to be a clone of ourselves is an emotional hangover from infancy when, indeed we were the center of the universe.
The antidote to this stultifying situation is to learn to do one very simple thing: inquire. Explore. Ask. Let curiosity be your guide to finding out what your mate wants and needs from you. The more you know precisely who he is or she is, the less you'll make this person-erasing mistake.
In the long run, remembering that the person you love is not you is a way of exposing yourself to the joy of knowing another soul in the truth and beauty of his or her own uniqueness.

LT