Grandma, you

Sometimes I dream of being lifted in the air swinging in the arms of you
Running thru meadows of lillies singing gospel songs with you
Grandma all of this with/for you
The secret of you that I've never truthfully been told about you
The un-experienced you
Wondering if the you I wish to know, would explain the Mom that I've been gifted with from God and you
The Sisters that I love dearly despite the half bond I have with one could be healed by you 
Grandma have you ever searched for me and wanted to discover the me in you
Wondered about me with you
Thought about me and you
I was told I strut like you 
Talk like you 
Have personality like you 
Even look like you
But that's just a tale in all of the stories I've been verbally told about you
I just want to know you
Or know of you
Just to have a existence of some kind of you
Being a 6 non-close knit membered family pierces my already sore heart besides the absence of you
I ask God about you:
Where are you
How are you
Are u still walking the earth as you
Or flying around heaven being you
Why was I kept from you
Why was my/our life moved and replaced from you
How can I yearn for future when I have no past of you
I'm having a moment about you
Crying over you
Needing of you
Wishing I could have the Grandma love from you
Cooking with you
Cleaning with you
Sowing with you
Having Mommy and you
The blessing of you
Grandma I'm certain there's so much me in you
Come to me in my dreams just so I can chat with you
Get to know a little about you
Maybe even stare into the eyes of you
God right now if I can't have Grandma, I need you

Nia B-(