The chronicles of iron horse back riding

Iron horse back riding back into my East-Side-Harlem pad
Nail biting my thoughts of what awaits me yet another un-productive day
Night life being the only thing making me move my feet swiftly thru the city streets
Monkey bars of a everyday with no expectations of what I would do that day
As I swing away, knowing how I've fallen into such a deep lazy state
Just wanting to hate self
But the make up, amazing dresses, timeless style, Marilyn Mon-rolled hair and the 45 glances of my newly tanned body in the mirror makes my night self come alive
How can I be so into getting dressed up for this guy?
Me not even knowing if the like is a idea of his mind or a idea of his ♥ 
A little angel resting on my shoulder blades whispering in my ear
Disability is about to come to a sudden crash and you will have to get up off your lazy daytime ass
I know, I know as I always repeat
Praying spinal surgery isn't an option but wishing for a solution to my consistent drughead pain
Thumb typing being my form of retreat
How can social-lighting the city become the bill payer
The vacation sponsor
The way to prettify self on a nighty as well as a daily basis?
Hannah's email of knowing someone that knows someone that knows someone
To get me to my true Carrie Bradshaw state is present in my mind @ this time
But who am I to self? 
What am I doing for self?
As sociable as I am
I become mute when the word career or work is even whispered
It scares me
Frightens the shit out of me even
Well wake up self
The 1st form of help, is the help of self
Really I don't know, maybe a kick in the ass by the boy that makes craziness seep into my soul when the 1st thought of his freckled nose comes to mind
Well this is my stop
Time to escape into the cold city streets of El Barrio 
Self, I need help